How to exact revenge upon one's roommates.... subtly

I knew this was going to be a tough year when I had to explain what an "attention whore" and a "cupcake" are in the same day.

I have had a few minor issues with some of my roommates. Generally ones that involve them treating me like I'm 20 years old. Let me tell you, I am fairly mature for my age. I don't act like a tween anyways, so I resent being treated like one. Thus, I have perfected a few techniques to subtly, yet extremely satisfyingly, exact revenge upon one's roommates.

1) Use their (preferably fairly fancy, expensive) shampoo/conditioner/hair products whenever they're not around. This leads to nice hair on your part, and excellently confused faces and frustration on theirs.

2) Hide their keys. Lock the door when you leave the apartment. Their anger is frankly delicious.

3) Eat their food. I'm not talking obviously, but like, if one has a bag of pretzels, or candy, and they hae already opened it, take a few out every couple of hours or so. Unnoticeable to them, but they will wonder why in the heck they have to buy more pringles all of a sudden, when it definitely didn't feel like they ate that much. Heh heh heh.

4) Milk. Drink their milk. You may wonder, don't people notice when they're missing half a gallon of skim? Here's the best part of that: You fill it up back to the level it was with water. Not only do you get free milk, but they get nasty, odd tasting watered down milk that makes them wonder what was wrong with the cow. Mwahaha.

I will likely add more as I remember/think them up. Look forward to more tips and tricks from Eppy on how to exact revenge on other, coming soon. >:)

Christmas List.

My mother has been harassing me lately about what I want for Christmas this year. It got me thinking, what do I want? So i began searching and scouring the internet for items worthy of my desire. Here are the fruits of my labor.


1) Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg T-Shirt.
Nuff Said. Or too much said?








2) Awkward T-Shirt. I like T-shirts. And I'm mormon... so this seems appropriate. Plus I like making other people feel awkward.










3) Snuggie. I WANT.











4) Wolf Dress. Classy. This is how I will reel in the menfolk.

















I will add more things as I think of them. Or if you have a most excellent idea you think I would enjoy, o find amusing, etc etc, post a comment. :D

Few Words Wednesday, OTRA VEZ!

It's technically no longer Wednesday I believe... and it hasn't been for about an hour. Whatever.

I pose a question for those of you out there who are reading and arent TOO LAZY TO POST A COMMENT. ahem.

Why do people say "I like your face" or "I miss your face"? I am puzzled by this.

In general, when I like someone, i like a few more things other than their face.

And if someone says they miss your face, it sounds a bit creepy to me. Like something a mass murderer would do before removing said face.

Just sayin.

Mandatory Sex Party

I simply had to join in.

Why? Because I have a secret desire to become part of something as viral as this magnificence.


Here are some answers to frequently asked questions:

Don't talk about the Mandatory Sex Party.

No, it is not a key party.

Yes, it is mandatory.

Yes, you do want to participate.

No, you don't have to be a virgin to participate.

Is there a downside?
Well. It is sex. I imagine that there would be several downsides depending on the person you get matched up with, but nonetheless, you are at a mandatory sex party, so tough toenails.


I know what you're thinking now.

"Hey, isn't this girl mormon? WTF is up with that? You aren't even having sex!"

Let me tell you, mister. Just because I ain't gettin any doesn't mean I can't calmly and maturely discuss others gettin some through a creatively sneaky, and mandatory, sexual experience.

And I may or not be a little bit CRAZY.

Don't hate.

See the urbandictionary.com definition.

For more reference, please see the following link to the following blog of the following freaking HI-larious woman:

Mandatory Sex Parties

Few-words Wednesday, again!

It is wednesday. well, technically it is now thursday, but it is wednesday for all intents and purposes. So here are a few words.

Tonight, I went to the grocery store and bought a jar of peanuts and 4 different kinds of fruit, including several dried fruits.

Odd? Probably. Tasty? Very much so.

Triviaaaaahhhhhh!

In case you were wondering, the title of this post is supposed to be pronounced with a long, contented sounding sigh trailing on the end of the word.

Just so you know.

Here is some funnish trivia all about myself, in case you wanted to know more things about me me me. Besides all the fun facts printed in the side bar, that is.

- I am a beast at Twister. I have literally not yet lost a game.
- I'm calcium deficient.
- I suspect that I am anemic, but I hate getting blood drawn, so I don't know for sure.
- I am watching House right now. He's the coolest badass sarcastic genius out there, and my personal idol. Next to Chuck Norris, that is. Or probably just behind Chuck Norris, since no one stands next to Chuck Norris without getting a roundhouse kick to the face.
- I never had video games when I was a kid. My family has a Wii now, but back in the day all we had was my uncle's old Atari system, with 'Paper Boy' and 'Super Mario Brothers' and 'Duck Hunt' to keep us entertained.
- The guy sitting across the table from me right now keeps giving me weird looks.
- I can Texas Two-Step.

An Actual post about actual potatoes.

Its kind of a big deal.

In the place that I live, we all take turns cooking dinner sunday-thursday. Some of the foods I have consumed here have been good. Many have sucked pretty bad too though. And not in a suck-i-want-to-inhale-it-it-tastes-so-good way, but in a suckish way.

For one thing, these poor people don't know how to cook potatoes.

Its not like its hard. You put them in the oven, or even in a microwave, and cook them for a while. You check to see if they're done. if they're not, you KEEP COOKING THEM.

They don't seem to know how to grasp this particular concept.

Two different people on two different occasions have tried to cook potatoes, and failed. Not complete and utter failure, just.... a crunchy-this-doesn't-taste-quite-right failure. In both cases I have attempted consumption and then decided to forgo over half of my potato for the bag of Lucky Charms I keep in my desk drawer.

Lesson of the Day?:

Cook. Your. Potatoes.

The world would be a better place if we practiced this.

That is all.